Getting divorced isn't typically a joyous occasion, especially when there are children involved. Many different factors are now needing to be considered, and one often overlooked subject is how to handle is the birthday celebration of the divorced couple's younger child/s. What is the best way to handle this type of situation and still keep the peace? Should divorced parents have separate birthdays for the child/children or try to put differences aside and come together for the occasion?
A lot of it comes down to how the parents interact after the divorce is said and done. If there was a lot of fighting and anger present at the time of finalization, it might not be a good idea to have both parents in close quarters. That being said, if both parents can agree that the day is for the celebration of the child only and they can work together to make it a good time, then there shouldn't be a need for separate parties.
It's wise to have a makeshift checklist if you are a divorced parent trying to decide to invite your ex to the party or not. If you know that the circumstances of the divorce still afflict your ex, do you think there's a chance they can be volatile? How involved are they with the child's life? Do you think they will cause a scene? Do you think YOU will create a scene if they're there? Will inviting the ex mean inviting along with ex-in-laws as well? But most importantly, you need to ask your child what they want (so long as they're able to make that decision on their own).
Ultimately, if you can't resolve the differences with your divorced partner and see it being a ruined birthday celebration for your child if they are there, then separate parties may be needed. There can even be a compromise if having two parties for one child seem excessive, such as having the other parent take them out for the day or out for a meal. It all comes down to making sure the child's birthday is fun and not stressful for the birthday kid.