Monday
June 1
2020

The Effects of Quarantine and Marriage

covid divorceThe historical Covid-19 pandemic has turned the world upside down and forced many of us to live every moment of our lives in our homes. This has created an uncharted territory, stirring up new anxiety for those not used to a more quiet life with less social interaction other than family members. This undoubtedly has created a strain on many marriages, for couples not used to spending 24/7 in each other's company. Some experts have predicted a rise in divorces before the end of the year.

At first, the thought of working from home sounded like an ideal vacation; get up whenever you like, wear your pajamas all day, pet your cat at your desk. For many, over the past few weeks, the "staycation" quickly faded into a weird scene from the movie "Ground Hog's Day." Every day feels like the last with no escape in sight. If your spouse is getting on your nerves, you are not alone.

In most families, mom and dad get up, kiss each other goodbye, and go off to their separate lives. They converge in the evening and enjoy the quality time together and cherish each other's company. Now with the stay at home orders still in place, married couples are starting to get on each other's last nerves. They are not used to having their partner around every second of the day. Once happy marriages are beginning to see a strain. Marriages on the rocks have solidified the notion that divorce is the only option to hold on to a little sanity.

When you add cabin fever to financial stress with your spouse crunching Cheetos in your ear, things can seem a little overwhelming. However, there are things you can do to help minimize getting on each other's nerves. Try as much as possible to create your own spaces, especially when it comes to working and downtime. Pretend you are still getting up and going to work, you go to your part of the house, and your spouse goes to theirs. Take solo walks and find a hobby that can be done alone. In the evening, the two of you can come together for dinner and a relaxing Netflix flick.

While making sure you have your own space necessary, it is also a good idea to make use of this time doing the things you always wanted to do with your partner but never seem to have the time. Dance in the living room, play board games with the kids and plan a romantic candlelit dinner under the stars on your patio. This could be a perfect time to reconnect with the person you fell in love with.

The good thing to remember is that the stay at home orders are just temporary. Our lives will return to normal, or as normal as they can get under the circumstances. Kids will hopefully go back to school at the end of Summer, and you and your spouse will get back to a routine of your own.

Monday
April 20
2020

How Much Does a Divorce Cost in Florida?

florida divorce costIn the United States, 40 to 50 percent of marriages end up getting a divorce. But how much does a divorce cost? And in the state of Florida?

How much it costs depends on which state you live in and what is involved, like children. For most couples, divorce can cost up to $15,000 or maybe even more. Divorces can be costly, really only depending on the circumstance.

A simple divorce can maybe only cost up to a few hundred dollars. Lawyers are also sometimes not needed during divorces. If you and your spouse do not have children or are not having significant disagreements, then a mediator would be much more effective, and easy to afford for you rather than a lawyer.

Children can make a difference in your divorce. You and your spouse may argue over custody, and overall it can cost way more.

Getting a divorce can be costly, but it all depends on your situation. If you ever feel the need to get a divorce, consider the circumstances and the money that will be spent.

Friday
March 6
2020

What’s the Best Way to Tell Your Significant Other That You Want a Divorce

florida divorceDivorce is a tough thing to go through, and it can be not very easy to get the process started as it is going through all the parts. So how do you break it to your spouse that your marriage is over?

You've no doubt been thinking hard on the topic. You may have even confided in other family, friends, colleagues, or clergy for help. Perhaps you've also been trying to work things out in therapy, but it's just not working. So what should you do, and how?

Don’t Blindside Your Spouse

You may be in a relationship where your spouse is clueless about your feelings of wanting to end your marriage. But you owe it to them and yourself to make the whole process as easy as possible for everyone involved, and that begins with not coming out of nowhere with this news. This could be devastating to your spouse and could make moving forward increasingly difficult. Keep communication open as much as possible.

Timing

Hopefully, you know your significant other well enough to understand how they might handle divorce news. Some will take it better than others, and when you might tell them could matter too. You are probably familiar with when to tell your spouse terrible news and have it go over smoother than at another time. Take that into account. When you do break the news, make sure you communicate your feelings clearly and honestly but also kindly. Don't blame anyone. This can be a very jarring experience for people.

Be calm, direct and kind

Your spouse is someone you once loved. You owe it to them and yourself to be kind. Especially if you have children with this person, you may end up having to coexist for some time to come.

Be safe

If you’re concerned your spouse will not react well to the divorce news, you may want to consider breaking the news in a public place, or with a third party present like a therapist. You might not be able to control how your spouse reacts to this news, but there’s always a way to help deescalate the situation and show understanding.

Be serious

Please don't joke about it. It's a serious matter and requires zero humor or threats of divorce if you do not mean it. Take it seriously.

Call us today if you need any help with divorce issues with your spouse.

Friday
January 24
2020

What is the Florida Guide to Healthy Marriages?

Florida Guide to Healthy MarriagesThere is little argument that divorce comes at a pretty hefty price. Not just on the emotional and relationship ties, but cold, hard cash. The public and private costs incurred from divorce are tremendous, and Republicans in the Florida Legislature are presenting a bill for the upcoming session to try and lessen that cost. This bill will create what is called "Florida Guide to Healthy Marriages."

Republicans Senator Dennis Baxley, of Ocala, and Representative Clay Yarborough of Jacksonville want the Department of Children and Families to create the guidebook. The book would be developed under DCF and would help tackle the almost 2 billion dollar cost to taxpayers of divorce. These costs are in things like the justice system, Medicaid, and Florida's Temporary Assistance to needy Families program. Politicians contend that the personals costs associated with divorce affect women and children more so than men.

Current state law requires couples to sign off that have read the "Florida Family Law Handbook" or some other marriage-related information before getting a marriage license. This bill would add the "Healthy Marriage Guide" to that list. The Florida Department of Health reports about 77,000 divorces in the state in 2018. Unlike the current handbook, which focuses more on prenups, alimony, and finance, Baxley's plan focuses more on interpersonal issues like relationships, family success, violence, and conflict resolution.

Keep an eye on the 2020 Florida Legislative Session for more information.

SOURCE: 1

Friday
December 13
2019

Is It Okay to Date While Going Through a Divorce?

Is It Okay to Date While Going Through a Divorce?While there is no legal reason why you can’t start dating before your divorce is final, it’s still a grey area. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Dating before your divorce is finalized can seriously affect you legally and financially.

  1. It can increase the cost and stress of the divorce trial. Parading someone new around has the potential to create suspicion that the relationship started before the marriage ended, enrage your ex, and may even subject your friend to be deposed by lawyers for details regarding your association. Also, if your spouse is not seeking a fault-based divorce, a new relationship can impact the progress of settlement and be seen as a tremendous distraction. Your spouse might feel betrayed or replaced and may be less likely to want to engage in settlement discussions, motivated by revenge, or otherwise not want to be part of an out-of-court resolution. If you’re hoping for a civil split, do what it takes to stay amicable.
  2. It can affect your settlement. If you’re eligible for spousal support, in some cases, this can be done in installments or one lump sum. If you’re already in another relationship, your ex may option for payments, which end the moment you move in with someone else. 
  3. Dating during divorce complicates co-parenting agreements. Splitting up is traumatic enough, but now your partner is anxious about who this new person is that you’re hanging out with, and how they will affect your children. 
  4. Your kids need you now. Dating takes a lot of time and energy. Right now, your kids are going through dramatic adjustments, and they need you more than ever. Even if they seem "fine," they're not.
  5. You’re probably not ready to date. After the hell you’ve been through - the neglect, the emotional roller coaster - of course, you want to feel attractive and wanted again. That’s only natural. But running out to find someone as an ego boost, to hide the pain of your divorce, or jumping into a rebound relationship to not be alone is not only a bad call, it’s selfish. 

Until you can properly grieve for your lost marriage, you’ll still have unresolved issues that you’ll take into the next relationship. You also need to understand the part you played in the breakup. No one person is to blame.

Until you can forgive your spouse and yourself and move past the hurt and anger, you aren't ready to start a fresh, new relationship. You’ll carry the ill feelings from your past marriage and likely repeat your mistakes.

As difficult as it is, this is your time. It’s time you can take for yourself to reflect, heal, get help, find yourself, do what you love, put yourself first, and get back on your feet. Eventually, there will be someone else to put first again, so enjoy yourself right now.