Divorce is a tough thing to go through, and it can be not very easy to get the process started as it is going through all the parts. So how do you break it to your spouse that your marriage is over?
You've no doubt been thinking hard on the topic. You may have even confided in other family, friends, colleagues, or clergy for help. Perhaps you've also been trying to work things out in therapy, but it's just not working. So what should you do, and how?
Don’t Blindside Your Spouse
You may be in a relationship where your spouse is clueless about your feelings of wanting to end your marriage. But you owe it to them and yourself to make the whole process as easy as possible for everyone involved, and that begins with not coming out of nowhere with this news. This could be devastating to your spouse and could make moving forward increasingly difficult. Keep communication open as much as possible.
Hopefully, you know your significant other well enough to understand how they might handle divorce news. Some will take it better than others, and when you might tell them could matter too. You are probably familiar with when to tell your spouse terrible news and have it go over smoother than at another time. Take that into account. When you do break the news, make sure you communicate your feelings clearly and honestly but also kindly. Don't blame anyone. This can be a very jarring experience for people.
Be calm, direct and kind
Your spouse is someone you once loved. You owe it to them and yourself to be kind. Especially if you have children with this person, you may end up having to coexist for some time to come.
If you’re concerned your spouse will not react well to the divorce news, you may want to consider breaking the news in a public place, or with a third party present like a therapist. You might not be able to control how your spouse reacts to this news, but there’s always a way to help deescalate the situation and show understanding.
Please don't joke about it. It's a serious matter and requires zero humor or threats of divorce if you do not mean it. Take it seriously.
Call us today if you need any help with divorce issues with your spouse.